It's Been 14 Weeks and Shoobeedooo Hours.....

...Since I started watching Buffy again and I finished the epic quest to watch all 7 seasons AND extras on Monday night. Go me! I have to say I was a little underwhelmed by the extras, but this could be because I'm such a rabid fan and, really, I want commentaries on every single episode by the writers, actors and directors. Is that too much to ask?

Obviously it is because what I got was a commentary on about every 4th episode, mostly by the writers but sometimes by the director and in rare cases a couple of the actors (Yay! Tom Lenk!). The commentary on one episode in particular was very dull. I can't even remember which episode it was but they'd wheeled in the Assistant Director or something and he kept going on about lighting and camera angles in quite a monotone voice. Yawn! Some of the episodes you'd expect to have commentaries didn't have one and there was a distinct lack of blooper reels (2 blooper reels from 7 series - 25% of which where Nick Brendon fluffing his lines? Rip off!) Still, after watching a few of the commentaries you could start to imagine what some of the writers at least would say.

There was also not enough James Marsters for my liking. I think that makes the gratuitous nuddy shot above quite justified though. Mmmm, nuddy shot....

Right, where was I? Oh yes, Buffy extras. Apparently there are outtakes of the bit in 'Smashed' where Buffy and Spike get it on posted on You Tube. I must go have a look for them....

Ooh, there's a lot of Buffy bloopers on there. I'll have to check them out sometime. Here's a link to the 'Morning After' bloopers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQVh2OMCqNo

I'll be moving on to my loverly Angel box set soon. Hurrah! I will dampen down my expectations of the extras though. I haven't watched Angel in so long this is going to be gooooood. Apart from Connor. I'll still be rooting for the whiny little twat to get minced. I love it when stuff hits him!!

Blackadder, Bad Trips and Balderdash

I was in the pub on Friday evening for Zoe's work leaving drinks. We were in the Holyrood Tavern, which I haven't been in for about 4 years, and on that last occasion it was the Edinburgh Festival and I can't remember much about it - yes, I was pished at the time. I do remember it being about 12:30am and the pub was heaving. I also remember seeing Simon Munnery (weird Festival 'comedian') sitting at the end of the bar, he was reading a newspaper... at half midnight in a pub. I remember thinking "What a tosser!" I later caught a bit of his very strange TV programme and was reassured that he did, in fact, seem to be a tosser. This time the bar was very quiet and civilised and pleasant, in a sticky tabled kind of way. At about 10pm the gathering repaired to Zoe's flat where one of her colleagues took a bit of a shine to me, and not in a good way. The colleague in question was a 40-something lady who kept hugging and kissing me. That has a sobering effect on one, I can tell you! She was a very affable drunk, just a bit... What's the word? Slobbery. Oh well, I later found out the poor woman had to work the next day so all my sympathies go out to her.

On Saturday evening Zoe and I had access to Byron's huuawge store of televisual entertainment. Oh joy! He actually has the pilot episode of The Blackadder which, despite being a huge and almost rabid Blackadder fan, I had never seen. Zoe kindly agreed to watch it with me and it was verreeee interestinck. It's basically the episode of The Blackadder where a aspersions are cast on the lineage of Edmond's brother, the heir to the throne, but in Elizabethan Blackadder the 2nd costumes. Oh, and Baldrick isn't as funny - Tony Robinson must have been born to play that part! Edmond is also the smarmy Blackadder of the second series and not the little slimy Edmond that he became in the first one. It still made me laugh out lound though, and there's a lot more slapstick in it. I'd be interested to find out why they changed from the smarmy Blackadder to the toady one, but then I'm a big freaky nerd that way ;o)

After that we watched a very interesting programme about LSD. I've never taken it myself and, after watching this programme, still have absolutely no desire to but it's one of those things (like killer bees) that makes you marvel and what dumb-asses human beings can be sometimes. Killer bees got loose on the American continent because the scientists studying them left a temp in charge when they all went on holiday and LSD seems to have got rife in the 1960's because the CIA decided to run clinical trials on students. D'oh!! Still, at least the students volunteered. This programme said there was evidence that the CIA dosed unwitting members of the public with it, basically to see what happened and if it could be used as a weapon. Evil. Evil. Evil.

Included in the programme was footage of an experiment that the BBC ran where they filmed a subject while he took a trip. This was not some crusty student they had scraped up, this was a smartly suited BBC presenter who took the drug in his drawing room. It ended up looking like something from Harry Einfield's Mr Chomondley-Warner series but the chap on the trip seemed to be having a marvelous time. He completely lost any 'normal' perception of time and would phase in and out of conversations. At one point he said he simply didn't have the vocabulary to explain what he was experiencing. This seemed to be a common theme with people on acid...

Which brings me to the movie I went to see on Sunday afternoon - The Fountain. I think this movie was on acid, or I wish I'd taken something before going to see it! I say it was on acid because it seemed to want to articulate something very profound but lacked the vocabulary and what came out was pretty incoherent balderdash. Talking of pretty though, baldy star-man Hugh Jackman in his little kung-fu pyjamas was quite pretty - when you weren't sniggering at how ridiculously pretentious those bits of the movie were! (See really bad photo above).

So Hugh Jackman's a surgeon married to a lady with a brain tumour, who's also the (quite barmy in my opinion) queen of Spain and he's also a hairy conquistador, but yet he's a baldy dude in little jammies doing tai chi in the stars and she's a tree... Or something.

I read a review on the IMDB about this one and I wonder what movie that guy went to see. Tellingly, he says a lot about the cinematography and the score but very, very little about the actual content or themes of the film. See above RE incoherent balderdash.

I hate to say it, but I may end up having a soft spot for this film just because it is so bad. So it's official - I'm sometimes a cinematic masochist. The review on the BBC website said it was "...rampant metaphysical codswallop" and I was practically sprinting to the cinema. I only have myself to blame. I'd go with meandering esoteric haddock slap myself though.

What Does 3.5lbs Look Like?

So, first weigh-in at fat club and despite a bit of a wobbly week I managed to lose 3.5lbs. Go me! I completely forgot that I had a free lunch (no such thing!) to go to on Monday so that didn't help much. The department had the Xmas lunch at Howie's on Victoria Street and we were entered into a draw to win your lunch again - we won! I had lovely creamy cullen skink to start with, rabbit for mains (bring on the bunny!) and cheese for dessert. Burp! I did go to the gym twice last week though so I think that helped.

I decided to type "3.5lbs" into the image searcher on Google to see what came out. Apparently I've lost the equivalent of one of the following in a week:

Makita 6228DWE 3/8in. Dr.14.4V Cordless Drill
I kind of popped this one in for Matthew. He loves his Makita.

A huuuawge tub of Gumballs
Retailing at $24.95

A bronze statue of a cow
He's called Riley apparently, by David Hodges. Actually, he weighs 7.5lbs so Lordy knows why he popped up in my search. Isn't he horrible though? Who'd have that in their house?? It's Range Boss that weighs 3.5lbs and it's even worse:

http://www.stockyardsgallery.com/original%20bronzes.htm

Jeez-oh!

A small yappy-type dog.
He's called Grover.

F*cksocks!!

Well, I was SO excited yesterday because I was due to start a new night class. It was entitled Film Studies - History of British Comedy. Fandabidozie! Just what I was looking for - the right evening, the right price and the right subject.

However, it being a council run course, they needed a quota of at least 10 people to sign up for it. You'd think they'd get that no problem but no, only 6 people turned up. How annoying! We started off watching a little clip of a Will Hay film from the 1930s and having a little discussion about colonial attitudes and the origins of British film comedy because we were advised to wait until half past to see if anyone else would turn up. Just that little tiny smidgin of discussion was SO interesting it made my disappointment even more crushing, I almost cried on the way home.

The class leader said he'd try and run the course again in September so I'll have to keep an eye out for it then, and next time I'm taking friends with me!!!

Saturday Night At The Movies....

Who cares what picture you see.... do bee do bee

Well, me actually cos I haven't got anyone to be a huggin' and a kissin' and even if I did I most certainly don't go in for that sort of thing! Heh, my first date at the tender age of 15 was to see 'Delicatessen' (how sophisticated was I for a 15-year old?!?! Not very cos I didn't get it at the time) and the boy I was with kept trying to snog me all the way through. I kept swatting him off because I was actually watching the film and it's carried on like that ever since. I take my cinema very seriously and can't be doing with stupid boys who want to cuddle up when my chair is obviously designed to make me comfortable and him having his arm around me is just a pain in the neck, literally. Gerrofff!

That's one of the reasons why I don't usually go on a Saturday evening. People who say they don't like going to the cinema obviously only go on a Saturday and get a very skewed notion of what goes on. Tea-time/after work on a Tuesday, that's when you should go, it's very civilised then. No long queues, no gangs of unruly teens, a lot less popcorn munching and answering of phones, etc. etc. etc. Anyhoo, I went to Emily's for dinner and to meet her tripod cat, Albie, on Saturday and then we headed up to Cineworld to see what Mel Gibson's latest offering was like. Albie was very cute by the way and the three-legged thing isn't as freaky as you would think.

So, Apocalypso. What can I say about this film? Um... it's an interesting one - but not for the right reasons. Perhaps I should have read more about the plot synopsis before I went but, to me, that shouldn't be necessary with a good film. I knew absolutely nothing about Vera Drake when I saw it as a special preview but right from the start I was intrigued with her and Mike Leigh only took about 10 minutes to get to the point. 40 minutes in to Apocalypso and I was still wondering where on Earth it was supposed to be going? I'm swithering about how much to say because if I complain too much I'll give away the plot but then again, I'm not sure I would encourage people to watch this effort.

Oh gosh, I just read the review on the IMDB of this film. 10 stars? What film was that dude watching??? Breathless pace? Only if the guy next to you is snoring! I thought the film took an age to get where it was going and then just got very silly and predictable at the end. By far the best bit is the jaguar chase and I don't think the effect Mr Gibson was going for was to make me absolutely piss myself laughing.

I think it's an interesting film because not many people would attempt a film in a dead language so, from an historical point of view, it could be valuable. However, as the IMDB states:

Factual errors: The Mayans had a prolific knowledge of astronomy and were able to calculate solar and lunar eclipse dates over thousands of years. So, a solar eclipse would not have been a surprise for anyone.

D'oh! Major plot point there.

On Sunday afternoon (a much more civilised cinema time) I went to see The Last King of Scotland, a not at all silly and actually very good offering. This film is about a young Scots medical graduate who travels to Uganda in 1970 in order to taste a bit of life instead of being shovelled straight into the family GP practice with his father. That young Scot is played by the strangely yummy James McAvoy so I've posted a picture of him cos hey, any excuse! Through a chance encounter he ends up the personal physician to the new leader of the country, Idi Amin. As Amin's reputation as an evil bampot is his legacy you can imagine that all does not end well for our hero. In fact, it all goes pretty spectacularly wrong and I have to admit that I was on the edge of my seat for at least the last half hour of this movie. It is stunningly scary, mostly due to Forest Whitaker's brilliant portrayal of an absolutely psychotic Idi Amin. I think the lazy eye thing helps so I don't know if the real Amin was just as or even more scary without it. If that film is an accurate portrayal the guy was a freakin' fruitloop and had a lot of power so yes, he was a very, very, very scary man. As they say, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Not at all an enjoyable movie to watch but very good indeed.

Now I'm looking forward to the release of Bobby, a film Emilio Estefez has apparently been trying to make for years. The cast he finally got together is star studded and the advance hype all seems quite positive. That's out the week after next so if you're very good I'll let you know what I think of that as well ;o)

Status Report

So, I'm officially a Scottish Slimmer now. I went to the meeting and I got all the bumf and I've read the magazine and so on and so forth. Basically I aint just on a diet, I'm going to have to go through a whole life overhaul, and it's probably about time. It's Le Creuset casseroles and housework on a Sunday from now on... honest guv! Well, I'll take it a step at a time I think. I cleared out my wardrobe last weekend, which filled 2 bin bags and liberated about 47 coat hangers. Scarily enough all my clothes still don't fit in the damn thing (it's a really, really stupid design) but at least I have enough coat hangers now. There's still a lot to trawl through in the life laundry but that was a start.

In a similar spirit I thought I'd change my blogger profile. I used to have the following random question and answer, which I think reflected my personality in some ways:

Q- You get to ride the big roller coaster three times in a row. What will keep your dad from taking a bite out of your candy apple?
A - I got chips instead and scoffed the lot, thus answering the eternal "Daddy or chips?" question.

This didn't seem quite right for Dietlicious, Fit and Healthy Marj so I decided to change it. Man, but those random questions are bizarre though. I trawled through about a dozen of them before I found one that I remotely wanted to answer, and even then it's a bit dodgy. It will probably be changed again soon but I had to go and do some work so it'll do for now.

The picture on my Gil Elvgren desk calendar was the one above today, could this be an omen? It's entitled Weighty Problem (Starting at the Bottom). Hey, that could be me soon! Lordy knows where I'll find one of those devices though. What are they supposed to do anyway? It looks like it'd be good for cellulite and I'm way beyond any help in that department now. I may keep her picture around for inspiration though :)

I'm Not Fat, I'm Just Fluffy....

So today is D-Day... as in Diet Day. I'm off to join Scottish Slimmers in a moment so wish me luck! This is the start of the long slog to gorgeous sveltness and looking decent for Zoe and Matthew's wedding. I thought if I publicise the fact I may be shamed into actually sticking to the thing so stay tuned for progress reports...

Song for Today

I once met a man with a sense of adventure He was dressed to thrill wherever he went He said "Let's make love on a mountain top Under the stars on a big hard rock "
I said "In these shoes? I don't think so I said "Honey, let's do it here."

So I'm sitting at a bar in Guadalajara
In walks a guy with a faraway look in his eyes He said "I've got as powerful horse outside Climb on the back, I'll take you for a ride I know a little place, we can get there for the break of day."
I said "In these shoes?"
"No way, Jose"
I said "Honey, let's stay right here."
No le gusta caminar. No puede montar a caballo (She doesn't like to walk, she can't ride a horse) Como se puede bailar? Es un escandolo (But the way she dances, it's a scandal)

Then I met an Englishman "Oh" he said "Won't you walk up and down my spine? It makes me feel strangely alive."
I said "In these shoes? I doubt you'd survive. I said "Honey, let's do it. Let's stay right here."
No le gusta caminar. No puede montar a caballo (She doesn't like to walk, she can't ride a horse) Como se puede bailar? Es un escandolo (But the way she dances, it's a scandal)

God Bless Kirsty MacColl!

I still haven't bought any shoes this year though. All the ones in the sales are minging! Bah!!

Today's Fish is Trout a'la Creme...

Fish!!

Did you ever think you'd see the day where I'd get distracted from Buffy? Well, that day has come. I've been loaned The Blue Planet on DVD and I can't get enough of it. I've only got 4 episodes of season 7 of Buffy left to watch and I'd rather watch the fishies. The other night I deliberately stopped myself with 4 episodes of Buffy left to go because I knew I'd have to watch all of them in a oner and didn't fancy staying up until 3am on a school night to get it done. "Oh, I'll just pop in the Blue Planet instead," I thought to myself. D'oh! I'm completely hooked now.

I think my favourite bit so far is the bit with the killer whales hunting sea lions and going right up on to the beach to nab them. You must have seen that bit but the brilliant thing about it is the lead-up to that in the programme. Immediately before that the viewer is treated to an account of the family life of sealions and how they raise their pups. On a quiet beach young sealion pups frolic and play. The adults keep a watchful eye on them and occasionally join in their little games. The beach they have chosen is a perfect nursery with enclosed pools for the pups to practice swimming in when the tide is out. It's now high tide and time for the young pups to take their first foray into the surf. You see a shot of the pups just on the shore and gradually your eye notes a strange black and white shape in the waves... then WHAM. SPLASH. CHOMP. There's a freaking big killer whale on the beach!!!! Just brilliant. I love it when nature programmes do things like that. I still remember that other BBC production that showed chimps hunting a monkey. Oh the outcry at the time! People thought chimps just ate bananas and drank Typhoo tea but this showed them ripping a monkey to bits and scoffing it down. That's life folks!

On a side note: I went to see Ingmar Bergman's Seventh Seal at the Film House last night. Also superb. Superficially I can see why some people might brand the film as dull and pointless but it doesn't have a reputation as one of the most iconic European 'art films' for nothing. There's tons of stuff in there, humour as well as philosophy and theology. Bergman's death is not as impartial as Terry Pratchett's but he likes a laugh. Jons the squire is the one that seems to have the most healthy outlook on things though - "Wherever you turn you'll always have your rump behind you." or, as the translation I saw last night would have it "It's your own arse you sit on." True. True.

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam.....

Spammitty Spam Spam Spam.....

After a couple of weeks with no internet access quite a bit of spam had built up in my email account. Before deleting it all for ever I thought I had better check if any real emails had got shovelled into the Spam file by mistake. While trawling through all the shite that had accumulated there I started to notice odd user names for some of the senders of the Spam. Some were so amusing I thought I'd share:

(I think the third from last might be my favourite!)

Subservients B. Sparred
Britney Spears
Opaline Smathers
Married K. Buber
Chihuahuas I. Chippewa
Perverted B. Fluffiest
Taxidermist J. Pummelled
Inneficiency U. Harpist
Berserk F Cheeriness
Prophesy F. Roughnecking
Electorate V. Homemade
Hallucinogenics O'Hepburn
Idled H. Surveillance
Portmanteau D. Clothing

Oh, and an honourary mention for one of the chaps doing a seminar at the university in March - Mr Feuchtwang. Oh, I'm so easily amused!

Happy New Year & All That Guff

Hoorah! Hoorah! That's 2006 over with and 2007 is now here. I've still been putting 06 on all the dates I've had to write today but that's not unusual, I always take until about April to get the hang of it.

Hogmanay this year was wild, and I don't mean in a booze-fuelled way. I mean the elements were giving it laldy. I went out to buy tobacco at about 5pm on New Year's Eve and was so blustered and battered and rained on from just going to the shop at the end of the road that I was not relishing having to drag my sorry ass out to make merry. In the end I decided to don my new flannel jammies, park myself on the couch and just not go out at all. Louise and Craig came up to keep me company and we had a very pleasant and cosy evening in front of the telly. Lovely!

The street party had been cancelled at about 10pm so the papers on the first were full of very odd pictures of a totally deserted Princes Street (see above). SO glad I wasn't out there!

Resolutions include getting in shape for Zoe & Matthew's wedding in September/October and (after the hangover I suffered yesterday) never ever ever drinking again! That one won't last long but I'm going to be one of Zoe's bridesmaids so I'd better get my fat ass down the gym asap. Sigh.

So, 2007 is shaping up thusly:

Hangovers: 1 very severe one. I had drunk 2 bottles of red wine though. Uuurgh.

Square sausages: 1.5 (I had to share my sausage supplies with my first foot. Bah! Probably a good thing considering the imminent health kick though)

Seasons of Buffy: Finished re-watching season 6 last night. Love it!!!!

New Pairs of Shoes: 0 - Haven't been down the sales yet. Haud me back!!