What do you mean "Which one's the cow?"

What a pleasant weekend I had. On Friday night I went to a quiz in aid of MacMillan Cancer Research with Kirsty. We didn't win but we didn't come last either so that was good enough, seeing as the questions were HARD. The evening ended in fine style with Kirsty and I drunkenly putting the world to rights from the comfort of my sofa before she toddled off home and I dozed off on the couch...

Luckily I'd been drinking water so I wasn't utterly minging when I had to go out and meet my dear mama the next afternoon. We went to see Alan Borthwick and Friends doing a selection of Gilbert & Sullivan favourites at St Andrew's & St. George's church. They're a great bunch but they do get carried away sometimes! The first half of the concert was over an hour long and by the end of it our poor bums were complaining. We weren't sitting in the pews but the hard chairs we did have were unmerciful on the derriere. I persuaded mama that a cup of coffee in the Portrait Gallery would be preferable to subjecting ourselves to those chairs for a moment longer and off we trotted. Then I went and spent too much money in HMV. Whooops! Saturday evening was spent in the flat, not spending any more money thank you so very much!

On Sunday I took advantage of Cat's ASVA (Association of Scottish Visitor Attractions) passes to get Naomi and I in to Dynamic Earth for free. There were some rather splendid cows outside and above is a picture of me with my favourite from that herd. Close up he's glittery - Pwetty!

Dynamic Earth was ok, but I would have grudged paying to get in. It's one of those places that seems to be enhanced by the audio guide that costs a fiver on top of the £8.95 you just paid for the privilege of entry. Gah! It's true, the Scots really do try and rip off the tourists for every penny. No wonder they have to try and work so hard to flog holidays in Scotland to Scottish people!

On Sunday evening I went to Glasgow with Nat to see The Editors at the Carling Academy. They were really good and I quite enjoyed the support band who were on right before them - unfortunately I have no idea what that band were called. I must try and remember to find out...

That was the first gig I'd been to since the smoking ban and the variety of aromas that I encountered was... interesting to say the least. To start with there was a prevalent odour of Heinz baked beans for some reason. This was later replaced with farts, stale beer, dope (I swear I smelt that!), Nat's deodorant from her spraying it on the massive inconsiderate barsteward standing in front of us and, most unpleasant of all, a faint tang of vomit - nice! That's much better than cigarette smoke isn't it?

We got back quite late on Sunday evening so instead of rushing out to take more advantage of the ASVA passes on the bank holiday Monday I did my laundry, went to Tesco and read a book. Ah nice :o)

Ralph Lauren eat your.... dinner!

I'm quite pleased with myself today. I'm wearing a shirt that I adjusted to fit better around the waist area, with my own two hands! Jane showed me how to take in a shirt at dressmaking last night and it was a piece of cake... or it seemed that way anyway. I cocked up the stitching a little but it's because I wanted to finish it in class and was in a hurry... honest! We'll see how Zoe and I get on without Jane's guidance. Zoe still may manage to sew her earlobe to her elbow (sorry darling but I'm sure after 20-odd weeks of classes you're well past that point. Hey, you took in a Ralph Lauren skirt and it looks soopah sweetie.) I'm confident that I should be able to do it again but I'll practice on my old shirts before I wade in and start on new ones. Thank heavens for H&M and their cheapo shirts!

I also had a massive binge of The Maxx (see pic) when I got home last night. Thanks go to Byron for providing me with the DVD, completely unsolicited. Nice one dude! You rool :o)

The Maxx is an animated series about a dude in a purple suit and a mask. In this world he's a hobo who lives in a box and hangs around with Julie, the freelance social worker. He also inhabits the world of Pangaea though, and there he is a mighty hunter with Julie as his leopard queen. Sounds mad I know, and it is - in the best possible ways. I remember it being on MTV circa 1995 and it's great to be able to see it all because back in '95 you'd never know when it was going to be on and it was always a treat when you found it. I've got the last 2 episodes to watch, maybe this evening when I get in from the pub quiz. The whole thing may be explained, but then again maybe it won't. Excellent!

Crime helps you work, rest and play...

Article in the Metro this morning:
Twelve people were arrested in dawn raids yesterday over the theft of £65,000 worth of Mars bars. Detectives swooped on a dozen addresses after receiving information from bosses at the Masterfoods factory in Slough, Berkshire, which makes Mars bars. All 12 suspects were released on bail until July. The chocolate was stolen in two robberies on Tuesday and Wednesday.

The bosses tipped off the cops? I wonder if it was a bunch of disgruntled (and possibly stupid seeing as they got caught so quickly) employees?

Pub conversation taken too far?

Another Metro article today:
The age-old question:What came first, the chicken or the egg? has finally been solved. A geneticist, a philosopher and a chicken farmer claim it was the egg. They said it comes down to the fact that genetic material does not change during an animal's life. Therefore the first bird that evolved into what is now known as a chicken must have first existed as an embryo inside and egg, their report claimed.

Well done lads, more fodder for smartarses the world over. Sigh. What was the sound of one hand clapping again? At least it was Bart Simpson that answered that one...

What was all the fuss about?



I went to see the DaVinci Code yesterday. It wasn't as dire as I was expecting but I found it hard to be excited or thrilled by it because I've read the book. The most exciting bits were when the albino monk kept jumping out and grabbing the leading lady. Audrey Tatou was ok but her and Tom Hanks (so looks like a potato these days!) had absolutely no on-screen chemistry. I find this a blessing cos I can't stand Tom Hanks but one of the hilarious things about the book was how Robert Langdon was supposed to be this super-suave James Bond type, but an academic, and Sophie is basically supposed to be a Bond Girl. Ho hum. Angels and Demons was definitely better. I wonder if they'll make that movie? It's more an attack on the actual Vatican so maybe they won't? Or maybe it'll be ok cos it's the Catholics getting it in the neck? Who knows.... Ron Howard possibly?

The good news is that Jean Reno is still lovely. Hoorah!

(See above) Spot the difference....

I'm never drinking again... at least until lunch time...

So, Tuesday evening was another BT-funded drunk fest for Marj. I'm not sure I'll ever learn no to indulge when the booze is free, even though I spent all of Wednesday chundering. Luckily my manager was very understanding and didn't take the weewee out of me too much. He actually told me never to grow up and get sensible about such matters, so now I'm really looking forward to the Change Management Xmas party!

Anyhoo, the Metro today had an interesting little tidbit about Edgar Allan Poe that is alcohol related so I thought I'd do a little trawl for alcohol-related trivia for you. Enjoy!

Edgar Allan Poe
According to accounts at the time, the father of American Gothic literature was found in a tavern in a state of delirium on October 3rd, 1849, wearing clothes that were not his own. He was taken to a nearby hospital, where he died four days later aged 40 and was buried in an unmarked grave. On the night before his death, he apparently repeatedly called out the name Reynolds. Opinion at the time was that Poe had died an alcoholic. (From The Metro today)

From http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/index.html

As Magellan prepared to sail around the world in 1519, he spent more on Sherry than on weapons.

The U.S. Marines’ first recruiting station was in a bar.

Frederick the Great of Prussia tried to ban the consumption of coffee and demanded that the populace drink alcohol instead.

The national anthem of the US, the "Star-Spangled Banner," was written to the tune of a drinking song.

A raisin dropped into a glass of champagne will repeatedly bounce up and down between the top and the bottom of the glass. (You think this would work with Cava as well? Must try it.)

The corkscrew was invented in 1860.

The purpose of the indentation at the bottom of a wine bottle is to strengthen the structure of the bottle.

Methyphobia is fear of alcohol.

In ancient Babylon, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead (fermented honey beverage) he could drink for a month after the wedding. Because their calendar was lunar or moon-based, this period of free mead was called the "honey month," or what we now call the "honeymoon." (So it has nothing whatsoever to do with the groom seeing the bride's bum for the first time!)

In old England, a whistle was baked into the rim or handle of ceramic cups used by pub patrons. When they wanted a refill, they used the whistle to get service. So when people went drinking, they would "wet their whistle."

"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" is commonly believed to be the only English sentence devised to include all the letters of the alphabet. However, typesetters have another such sentence: "Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs." (F'narr f'narr!!)

There is a cloud of alcohol in outer space with enough alcohol to make four trillion-trillion drinks. It's free for the taking. . . but it's 10,000 light years away from Earth.

Wine has about the same number of calories as an equal amount of grape juice. (Whoopeee!)

Beer and Bras. British men have been found twice as likely to know the price of their beer as their partner's bra size. A poll reported in Britain's Prima magazine found that 77% of males knew how much their beer costs but only 38% knew the correct size of their mate's bra. (I was a 36F last time I checked, if anyone's interested...)

The average number of grapes it takes to make a bottle of wine is 600.

Adolf Hitler was one of the world's best known teetotalers or abstainers from alcohol; his adversary, Sir Winston Churchill, was one of the world's best known heavy drinkers.

Monday

Just another manic Monday? You betcha! The weather's pish and I managed to sleep in this morning. Two things did manage to raise a smile on my face on the way to wurk though. Once I had managed to catch the 5 bus (which goes all the way to my work without me having to change - bonus but I was already late and fed up by that point) the day brightened up when I saw the cows outside the Omni centre. For those of you not aware, there is a cow parade going on in Edinburgh at the moment.

http://edinburgh.cowparade.com/

I think I remember Hannah asking "Why cows???" (The extra question marks denote her tone - incredulous.) the other week. The only answer I can come up with is why not? Cows are pretty cool these days, and I think Robert Wiseman probably has something to do with that. Who can resist a cow playing keepy-uppy? I mean, really?

The other thing that cheered me up was "Friday I'm in Love" by The Cure playing on my MP3 thingmy. I love that song anyway and the paradox of listening to it on a Monday morning cheered me no end. Needless to say the warm fuzzy glow these 2 things gave me had dissipated by the time I got to the front door of the office. I think they vanished in a puff of grumpiness as soon as I stepped off the bus and got rained on. Harumph! It's not that far to the door from the bus stop but the rain demanded the umbrella be put up and then the wind demanded the umbrella blow about and get tangled in my hair. Harumph! Bloody weather... (see Terry Gilliam animation in MP and the Holy Grail for that ref.)

The weekend just past was spent mostly feeling poopy and full of snot. I had to forego Crombie's sausages and mash at Chez Duff on Friday night because I felt so rubbish. Waily! It was gorgeously sunny on Saturday but I shunned the sun and hung out with Zoe in her flat instead. We took a trip to Homebase and I bought myself a new house plant - a kinky ficus. Well, with that name on the pot? I just had to!

Kirsi and I had an Alias session on Saturday evening, but it wasn't all straightforward. Kirsi's copy of Alias 4 is a dodgy copy of a Spanish version, I think. Disk 4 was labelled disk 3 and vice versa. We watched the whole of disk 4 - admittedly with a few kind of "Eh? When did that happen? Oh well, whatever. I'm sure they'll explain it." moments. We didn't actually notice that the disks were mixed up until halfway through the second episode on disk 3. D'oh! I'm not sure if that's a good indication of the script writing on Alias or not. The plots have been so convoluted and they've played with the timeline in previous series so we just trusted it would all become clear in the end - which it did but not in the way expected. Again - D'oh!! Ah well, I don't think it'll have ruined the season finale in any way so we still have that to look forward to. Huzzah!

Later that very Thursday...

The weather turned kinda poopy again. Boo! I did go out for lunch in the sunshine though so I got a bit of photosynthesising done. Mmmm, chlorophylicious baby! (Dang, I hope I spelled all that ok!) Victoria decided to feed the birds, though it wasn't tuppence a bag I don't think. How much do morning rolls retail for these days? Gosh, swans are impressive close up... and persistent. One hung around hoping for more for quite a while. I wonder if it was the same one that pecked a seagull's head? Don't mess with the swans man!

The wind had got up a bit by home time and blown swathes of petals from the cherry blossom trees. It all looked so pretty, with the sun bringing out the warmth of the pink, that I wanted to try and get some pictures. By the time I'd scuttled up to the flat and grabbed the camera the sun had put its hat on and fecked off to the pub. Bumnuts! I did get this interesting photo though. It kind of looks like pink snow doncha think?

Thursday

Well, the weather is always perfect on Marj Island of course but in Edinburgh today the sun is shining away quite merrily. It's beeeyoootiful! Or it looks that way through the window anyway. I may be in danger of sunburn at lunchtime today. Goody!

Nat and I had a little picnic in Holyrood park yesterday evening. We were supposed to go to the cinema but it was far too lovely to be stuck in a dark room having to look at Tom Cruise (MI3 - I didn't pick the movie so was quite happy to miss it!). We had olives and salami and chorizo and bread and taramasalata and cheese. Yumsle! My top tip for picnics is that, if you forgot cutlery, a carrot stick can be used to smear taramasalata on sliced bloomer loaf to produce a delicious and fishy snack. The important thing is that you need to remember the carrot though ;o)

We also had a bottle of cava, a bottle of white wine and some fags. Hoorah! We covered the essentials then. The pished stagger home afterwards was so much fun!

I wonder if I could persuade anyone to drunken picnic this evening? Stay tuned to find out....