Shoes! Shoes! Shoes!

While perusing Manolo's Shoe Blog today (http://shoeblogs.com/) I found a website that has made my heart flutter in a way that the Manolo Blahnik one did not. I don't know what's wrong with me! Manolos should surely have me salivating and wetting my pants but for some reason, the other day anyway, it didn't. Several pairs of the shoes on this new website had me squeaking in covetousness though:

https://www.babyphat.com/shop.php

Especially the pictured pair. They're sparkly!! And Pink!! Ooooooh!

Only the thought that to ship them over here from the States might cost as much as the actual shoe is restraining me... but I may have to make enquiries.

Dang it!! Shopping is replacing sex and food in my life. I must hurry up and marry an octogenarian millionaire ;o)

Still Don't Know What Happens In The Scrum!

So, for some reason (probably alcohol related!) I went to watch the rugby on Saturday afternoon. I was in the Sportsters bar on Market Street with some of the girls because Jo G had booked a table. That lady likes her rugby! Needless to say Scotland got humped. I can't even remember if the team played well or not but I do remember my pals heckling the commentator so it was probably his fault for jinxing them. I wonder if it was the same one that commentated the last game I tried to watch? He boasted about Scotland having been unbeaten at Murrayfield this season and then the team got totally trounced, by the Italians if I remember rightly. Wha? I thought they were rubbish at rugby - too cool to get muddy probably.

I still don't understand rugby but I do understand drinking on a Saturday afternoon so that's why I was there. I was also there hoping to ogle hunky rugby supporters but unfortunately all I had to look at was a bunch of preppie Edinburgh Uni RFC boys and a couple of skinny neddy types who looked way too young. Seriously, they didn't look a day over 15. Scary! I guess the real men must have been downstairs all huddled around the bar grunting. I like a seat when I'm confused so they weren't in my eyeline. Ho hum. I've included a picture of Ally Hogg for Lady Nat Nat though - try to contain yourself dear ;o)

On Sunday I went to see TMNT, or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as we all knew it. Pure nostalgia but entertaining none the less. Luckily all the small annoying children were in seeing Mr Bean because none of them had ever heard of a Mutant Ninja Turtle, teenage or otherwise. The animation was pretty good and the plot was actually a bit interesting. Cap'n Slaphead Jean Luc Picard was the voice of the baddie so that endeared me to it as well - surely he wouldn't be involved in sh*te now would he? For something that I was embarrassed to ask for a ticket to see ("Didn't you hear my mumble, ticket lady? Please don't make me say it twice.") I was pleasantly surprised by it. Hoorah! Or should I say "Awesome! Cowabunga dude!"

On Sunday evening ITV were showing a production of Mansfield Park. Oh joy! New adaptions of Austen are always worth investigating. Unfortunately they'd fannied (pardon the pun) about with it so much I was left feeling really disappointed. It was insipid and dull, but at points seemed like it was trying not to be, which is worse! It was the televisual equivalent of a boring asshole who thinks they're so great. The whole slave-trade thing was vaguely hinted at but not in any great depth and after rejecting Mr Crawford Fanny was punished by being left in Mansfield Park while everyone else went to visit Granny. This annoyed me because it was obviously done to save money on sets and actually detracted from story. Grrrrr! They're doing Northanger Abbey next week and I will be in the company of some bona fide Austenphiles so woe betide ITV if they've ballsed up that one as well!

On a happier note I went to see Becoming Jane last night and really, really liked it.

*spoiler warning - don't read on if you ever plan to watch it*

I was very worried that it would have been all Hollywood-ised and they'd somehow crowbar a happy ending on to it. Hallelujah though, they didn't. It is the story of how shitty womens' lives could be in that shitty patriarchal snobby society. Poor Jane! Oh man, you do not feel good at the end of the movie. It was good for me though because after a period of moping and bemoaning my single status it did make me grateful for one thing - at least I've had a good shag in my time. Man, there are worse ways to be and that's for sure!

Something Silly For Friday Afternoon

I'm Not Shy...I'm Just Retiring*

I got a letter in the post the other day confirming that my Civil Service Pension Scheme has been transferred into the University of Edinburgh Staff Benefits Scheme. It also said that I have been credited with 5 years and 143 days.

Is that how long I spent working there?? Sheesh! I think I spent around 5 years and 127 days trying to leave! I'm glad that the transfer happened though, I didn't fancy trying to claim my 20p a week when I'm 65... or 95 depending on how these things go over the next 35 years.

Oh God, what a depressing thought. At least another 35 years until I can give all this up. The way things are going we'll be kept working until we drop dead. Well, that's something to look forward to!

Which reminds me of the thing that made me laugh (hollowly) when reading the front page of the Metro today:

"DNA samples and fingerprints could soon be taken in shopping centres from suspected litterbugs and shoplifters.

The evidence will be collected in temporary detention centres designed to fast-track petty offenders, such as drivers caught not wearing a seat belt, the Home Office proposes.

But the idea could add thousands of extra names to the national DNA register and sweep away long-standing restrictions on whose information police are allowed to keep.

Civil liberties campaigners condemned the idea.

Liberty policy director Gareth Crossman said: 'The Government is fast replacing the best traditions of English law with a chilling presumption of guilt.'

The plans are part of a review of the 1984 Police and Criminal Evidence Act."

It just tickled me that it's the 1984 act. One more step towards our inevitable Orwellian dystopian future. Pass the Victory gin!

* Picture by Gil Elvgren 1950

God Bless the Canadians!

Human rights complainant ordered to pay $3,000
CBC News
http://www.cbc.ca/

A B.C. man who filed a human rights complaint against Just Ladies Fitness in Burnaby more than two years ago has now been ordered to pay the gym $3,000 because of the way he behaved.

Gordon Stopps made a formal complaint after being told he couldn't use a 10-day free pass to work out at the women-only gym. But the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal rejected his complaint of gender discrimination.

A lawyer for Just Ladies Fitness then argued Stopps should have to pay for his behaviour during the dispute, something that's happened at the tribunal just 17 times since 1999.

Gym managers accused Stopps of hostile behaviour, intimidating an 18-year-old receptionist and calling himself a "soldier of God."

They also complained that he had filed legal documents suggesting that one manager at the fitness centre could only blame herself for not getting into heaven.

Stopps also accused people at the gym of assault, alleging they tried to intimidate him into dropping his complaint.
However, the tribunal found his story didn't match what he told the RCMP.

The tribunal said Stopps had engaged in "improper conduct" and pointed out the award isn't about the merits of his case. It also said the $3,000 award should not discourage people from filing human rights complaints.

Marj says: Oh yes it should! Human rights my ass!

For the Fetishist That Has Everything?

http://www.goodvibrationsshoes.com/index.html

Shame they're so dang ugly!!

Sigh

Beetroot in my lunch and a white shirt was never going to end well...

London Baby!

As I usually try to be a positive kind of girl I'll get the bitching out of the way first...

Aaaargh! I'm definitely never travelling by plane again if I can help it. We flew down to East Midlands airport on Friday because our base of operations for the weekend was Leicester. The flight down was fine and Helen picked us up from the airport. The rest of the weekend went swimmingly (I'll get to that in a moment) but then Sunday came....

Emily and I were due to fly back to Edinburgh on the 13:15 flight, leaving plenty time for a leisurely Sunday afternoon of cat feeding, food shopping and general domestic boringness. We got to the airport at about noon and, after almost leaving our lunch in Helen's car (Noooooo!), joined the smaller of the check-in queues. Once we got to the counter we were asked if we knew that our flight had been cancelled. What? If we knew that would we be standing here trying to check-in??? The next flight was due to depart at around 5pm and in the meantime we could have a refreshment voucher for £5 each as an apology. Gaaaaah! What else could we do? Helen had already left to go to work so we were stuck there. Luckily we'd invested in a copy of the Sunday Times so that kept us going for all of about 4 hours. The bottle of Duty Free Tia Maria and the free refills on soda from Pizza Hut also helped those hours pass. Eventually Emily invested in a travel Scrabble set before we went insane. The feeling that we'd have to live in the airport was getting stronger with every passing minute. The flight took off late as well, and boarding wasn't announced. Sheesh! We eventually made it back to Edinburgh at about 8pm. Nightmare :o(

Anyway, the rest of the weekend was very pleasant indeed. We drove into London on Saturday for Spamalot and stopped in at the Baker Street branch of Nando's for lunch. Yummy yum yumsle. I had a meditteranean salad because of Fat Club and feeling particularly nauseous from car sickness. Bleeugh. I haven't been that bad for ages, but I'll try not to blame John's driving ;o) On the way to the theatre we popped into Selfridges to drool over all the lovely and very expensive shoes. Prada and Dior and Chanel oh my!! Lovely jubbly. Then we had to positively scamper down Oxford Street in order to find the theatre. Once there though we had sweet seats and the show was hilarious. There's enough from the film in there to keep saddos like me who can quote huge chunks of it happy but it's also sufficiently different to justify the trip. The production value is huge too, glitter and lights and effects all over the place. The tickets were quite pricey but you're getting quite a show for your money. Fetchez la vache!! La vache d'or?

I got myself an "I'm Not Dead Yet!" t-shirt for the gym too. I couldn't resist! I don't think the "Fetchez La Vache!" one would have fit me though. Booo!

On Saturday evening we watched The Dish on John and Helen's huuuawge screen. I mean huuuawge, they have a laser projector mounted on the ceiling of their living room and a big white screen to project on to. I'm so jealous!! The Dish was an interesting choice as John worked on the Beagle 2 mission to Mars and had an insider viewpoint on the tension these space expeditions can generate. Coincidentally enough there was also a lunar eclipse that evening so it was space-a-gogo down in Leicester. We stood about in the garden for a while watching the moon go dim but a lunar eclipse doesn't move at anywhere near the speed of a solar one so we got cold and bored pretty quickly. Still, I'm glad we went out and had a look at it.

Then there was Sunday, and we all know what happened then!

I had Monday off work but spent most of the day sat watching SATC. I've seen it all now. Waily! The good news is that the SATC film is definitely going ahead. Will I be going to see it? As Mr Big would say: "Abso-fucking-lutely!" :oD

Sing From The Diaphragm A Lot....

I'm off to Londinium this weekend to see Spamalot with Emily and Helen. Yippee!

In celebration of this I bring you another installment of "Spammers That Make Me Chuckle" from my Gmail junk. I was going to Google an image to go with this lot but I hate to think what would have come up if I'd typed in the first or the 5th ones so I just left it. Have a picture of an incredibly grumpy kitten instead. Aaaaw! He's so peed off!

Anyhoo, enjoy. I think third from last is my favourite of this batch.

Marianne Beaver
Johnny Pitts
Jeffrey Seals
Impeding B. Trendiest
Gay Humphrey
Young Belcher
Waterfowl. O. Conducts
Lugubriousness H. Euthanasia
Typographer B. Smith
Watercourse J. Ejection
Hemophiliac L. Stationed
Maximus Kong
Consensus G. Homophones
Ponders O. Bicycles

Meatballs and Chickpeas and New Shoes, Oh My!

So I just spent a very nice weekend with Zoe and Matthew in sunny Guildford, and it only rained for about 65% of the time. For some reason, that we won't go into here, I decided to fly down to Gatwick instead of getting the train. Ugh! NEVER doing that again by the way. Security at the airports is so strict these days. Obviously there are good reasons but when you've been standing in a huawge queue for 10 minutes already and then have to have your luggage rummaged through and your extremely fluff-filled handbag turned inside out then your irritation levels do reach fever pitch. Couple that with the fact that there are people EVERYWHERE in airports and rather a lot of them seem to be small, sticky and whiny (not just the kids!) and the decision to go by train from now on gets much easier. Oh God though, I'm flying again next weekend because we're off to London to see Spamalot. *whimper*

Anyhoo, besides that the weekend was very enjoyable. There were meatballs for tea on Friday, washed down with Cava and orange juice... and then meatballs for lunch on Saturday. Yumsle! The other staple of the weekend was chickpea stew, courtesy of Matthew. Zoe's getting him trained slowly but surely. After we'd spent Saturday afternoon shopping he was tasked with getting wur dinner ready and I think he did a not bad job. It was chickpeas for lunch again on Sunday though and by that point I was all chickpea'd out! There was a lot of "Pull my finger" going on I'm afraid. Luckily we all find that most amusing ;o)

So, fuelled by meatballs and with the promise of chickpeas to come, Zoe and I actually went girly shopping. Schock! Horror! This is what comes of not having a television dude! We eventually pulled ourselves together enough to leave the house (after an epic battle between me and the hot water system. Humph!) by about half past three on Saturday afternoon, so it wasn't a full day of retail delights. The shops in Guildford are not bad though. We got distracted by about 3 shops while trying to get into Next and spent a very happy 20 minutes or so perusing the pocket money toys in a shop that stocked the sorts of things you never knew you needed until you saw them. Love it!! Wind-up toys a go go.

After dragging Zoe away from that shop I managed to find a lovely pair of Kurt Geiger espadrilles on a sale rack. They're like the picture above except navy blue with a white ribbon. Oh so gorgeous!! I made the mistake of trying them on and then they had to be mine! I'm looking forward to wearing them on my holiday in April though, and I found a lovely skirt in Next that matches. I just need to find a nice navy blue and white striped top to complete the outfit I think.

Oh my God! When did I get so girly??? Sorry Zoe!

Anyhoo, we completely failed to go to the gym or go around Guildford cathedral or track down the Bearded Lady but we did catch up on Lost and eat a heck of a lot of chickpeas. The flight back up from Gatwick was just as unpleasant as the flight down (though I did witness a woman having hysterics at security over baby bottles. Entertaining but train next time for sure!!) so breaking free from the heaving throng in the airport was a great relief. I was exhausted but had to go feed the Duff's cat on Sunday evening. She's so squeaky! She was incredibly pleased to see me though so I felt obliged to hang around and get covered in cat hair. I watched some programme about a girl that's 'addicted' to chips in the end as I thought it may have some insights that would help me with my fondness for the frites. Unfortunately the girl that is 'addicted' to chips seems to be an attention seeking fruitloop so the programme just left me wanting to slap her silly. I did not want to eat chips after it though. BTW - I noticed there's quite a hot guy in the chipper the other week but when I asked for lots of sauce he was quite stingy. Obviously it's not meant to be between us....

Phwooooooooarrrrrr!

My pal Kirsi has loaned me the first 3 series of Sex and the City on DVD and I'm utterly bingeing man! Love it! Love it! Love it!

Especially loving looking at the yummisome Mr Big, aka Chris Noth. Oh Em Gee! What a knicker-wettingly beautiful man. So this is just another excuse for me to put some eye candy on my blog ;oD

Sigh, shall I wax lyrical on how great the series is or shall I just bask in the beauty for a moment? Oh go on, just for a moment...

Mmmmm....

Let's Go Fly A Kite...

That's what I'm doing, though you probably can't see the kite in this picture, and what with me being so unphotogenic it's a bit rubbish really, no offence to the photographer though. Ho hum. It was an absolutely bee-yoootiful day on Saturday so when Naomi called me all my good intentions of spending the day spring cleaning went out of the window. I packed my kite up and got a bottle of Irn Bru from the shop (for you can't go to Holyrood Park without Irn Bru, that'd just be WRONG! Unless you have cava, that would be an acceptable substitute.) and toddled down to soak up some of the spring weather.

I realised that I've had my kite since I was about 12 years old and it's still going strong. It really is a Super Tube! The pocket kite fared less well though, it seems a bit lopsided so it just kept flying around in circles and then crashing to the ground. I think my Super Tube was the second best kite out in the park on Saturday afternoon though. The best kite was one of those huuawge ones that can lift you off the ground, somebody was out with an orange and white one (so not Matthew's old one) and it was flying beautifully. My kite just went almost straight up and stayed up. Joe (Naomi's bro*) did want to run the string out to the end just to see how far it would go but he's that sort of guy. Having just realised how long I've owned that kite for I was less inclined to take the risk of losing it and took it back off him. There's a metaphor for life if ever there was one! He likes to go to the end of the string just to see what happens or if he can and I'm quite happy to accept there's an end to the string but I don't need to see it or risk my kite to know that it's there. Very zen... or something.

The third best kite was being flown by a mummy and her wee boy. It was several kites, about half a dozen, all strung together and they were sparkly. Oooh pretty! The most rubbish kite was a stunt one that 2 boys and their dad were attempting to fly while the mother and, presumably, the grandmother, stood by and looked unimpressed. They only managed to get it in the air once and it didn't stay up there for very long. I tried not to snigger too much as I stood there and enjoyed the serenity and calm engendered by my kite. I always forget how satisfying it is to fly my kite and I must make an effort to do it more often now the weather is getting better again. Hoorah!

*Literally mofo. Check out the gansta stylee. Word.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nao1/394419844/

Music and Man in Small Shorts...

I actually went and bought some popular music that wasn't in the bargain section. I'm hip with the kids man! Honest...

This is a new release as well, only came out on Monday. Gosh! Am I becoming a pop picker? Nae chance of that, trust me ;o)

So this album is ace. It's basically what it says on the tin, this guy has got 2 pop tunes and 'mashed' them together. What comes out of this is almost as good as my famous mustard mash with the added bonus of being less calorific. Some of my favourites on this album are:

Horny as a Dandy - Mousse T vs Dandy Warhols
Passenger Fever - Peggy Lee vs Iggy Pop
Can't Get a Blue Monday Out of My Head - Kylie vs New Order

All groovy stuff kids, it's got a good beat and you can dance to it.

I would also like to publicly give my thanks to the wonderful Simon Pegg for releasing Hot Fuzz on that most despicable of capitalist celebrations - Valentines Day. Instead of spending the evening cursing Hallmark and ranting about the meaninglessness of it all I got to go to the cinema with 4 good friends and laugh my ass off solidly for a couple of hours. That's what the film is about too, good friends. It's a homage to the Buddy Cop movie and beats the pants off any of them. *

*I had some stuff in here about friends and how they disappear out your life sometimes but that was all a bit depressing and neither of those barstewards read this thing anyway so there was very little point in it. Back to the pants.

And that brings me to my confession...

There was also a trailer last night for yet another Simon Pegg movie. Oh joy! It's called Run, Fatboy, Run and Lordy knows when it'll be released in the cinemas, I'm hoping it'll be this summer but maybe that's wishful thinking. That's not what I'm confessing about though. I have to confess I'm haunted by the vision of Simon Pegg in the most ridiculously small shorts you've ever seen in your life! It's probably extremely clever marketing because those lycra monstrosities will be lurking in my brain until I see the movie... But they're stragely compelling. I probably need professional help!

Bumholes!!

Did you know that it's National Chip Week?

Well, apparently it is. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I can't join in the fun. I fell off the diet wagon and into a vat of lard last week so I've got to be very good now. Harumph!

The plan seems to be to convince people that chips aren't as bad as you think. I don't think chips are bad, I think chips are wonderful. They're just lardy too. Sigh.

I've known some good chips in my time, and some bad chips. Possibly the worst chips on the face of the planet were available at any refectory in Edinburgh University, back in the day. When I was at uni I used to wonder what on Earth they did to the poor potatoes to make them that awful? I mean, chopped potato and some hot oil - how can you go wrong? Ask the catering staff at the uni circa 1995-1999! I suspect perhaps the oil wasn't hot enough but they weren't exactly soggy, they did manage to stick together in big clumps though. It was quite disturbing and they were like that the whole 4 years I was at uni. Maybe I should go and investigate what they're like these days? I'm horribly afraid they're still the same though. Eeeeuw!

Good chips? Where does one get good chips? I still haven't tried that place on the Royal Mile that Zoe recommends. The Sea Breeze or something? Dude - next time you're in Edinburgh it's fish suppers all round yeah?

Oh, and curly fries! Why can you not find curly fries anywhere anymore? Bar Oz is apparently back to being Oddfellows and is wanky and overpriced so I doubt you can get them there. A billy can of curly fries used to be the mutt's nuts though, with lashings of ketchup. Drooool.

Oh well, I've got more of The Great Meatball Experiment Mark II for my dinner tonight. I've been experimenting to see if you can do meatballs in a Le Creuset. Marks I and II have tasted splendid but have been a bit on the runny side. It's difficult to get the amount of liquid right but next time I'm going to try adding passata to see if that gloopifies it up a little bit. If Mark III doesn't work I may have to admit defeat and come to the conclusion that you can't do meatballs that way. Booo!

The Million Dollar Question

What's In The News Today?

Genius!!

From the Independent On Line - www.iol.co.za

Bus Passengers Treated to Soft Porn

Bus passengers in Sofia are being shown soft porn films on giant video screens at night.

During the day the plasma screens in the Bulgarian capital show bus times, but the night shift now has the porn films on view.

A spokesperson for the station management said: "We wanted to give the passengers something to take their minds off the cold and to pass the time while waiting for a bus, and there are unlikely to be children around that time of night."

The move however has angered many, including mothers with young children, who say the movies are a disgrace.

They also claim the security guards have stopped patrolling for troublemakers, and spend their time watching the giant screens instead. - Ananova.com

What I Are Been Reading....

Also this weekend I finally got my sticky little paws on a copy of Delta of Venus by Anais Nin. Zoe lent me the copy that's she's had since she was 18 and it's a beautiful copy. It has the cover shown and is yellowing and obviously old. I'll look after it dude, I promise!!

What can I say about this book?

Whoop whoop! Awoooga! Rrrrroooowrrrr! Zoinks!

Go read it!!!

From Vampire Hunters to Dirty Old Men... In One Weekend!

Friday was my colleague Ewen's birthday so we went to Assembly for drinks after work as they have a 2-for-1 offer on cocktails. Several raspberry mules and a couple of white Russians later and Ewen managed to get me to ingest my first ever Friday night kebab. It was a chicken kebab with garlic sauce from Palmyra and I have to say it was pretty dang tasty! It could have been the alcohol speaking but I distinctly remember thinking I could have done with another one. This is probably a bad thing! I then forced Ewen to watch one of my favourite late night drunk movies - Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. A musical horror with lesbians and Mexican wrestlers. What else could one ask for? Ewen showed his appreciation by falling asleep and snoring very loudly. Philistine!

On Saturday Zoe and Matthew had their farewell leaving do - dinner at David Banns. I have to say that the food was superb but I'm definitely too impatient to be happy with the wait it inevitably comes with. Oh well, apart from that is was a very nice meal. There were a few quality drunks on the way back to keep us entertained. The first one was so drunk his knees didn't work properly and we actually stopped to watch him try and negociate the kerb. In the end he gave up trying to get back on to the pavement and just started staggering off down the road. He was moving very slowly so hopefully motorists would have had enough time to avoid him. The second drunk seemed to have been locked out by his pal. He was shouting to be let in and when that didn't work the tirade of abuse towards his acquantance started. Then he started shouting at us for sniggering at him. I think this was a bit unfair, I personally was sniggering near him - not directly at him. Ah, I will miss the colourful characters that you see in Dumbidykes now that I won't be visiting Zoe. They do sometimes venture up into the Southside though so I'll still see them now and again.

Well, Zoe always joked that I was the bestest boyfriend ever because I'd bring her chocolate and fill her hot water bottle when she was crampy. My "boyfriend" has now moved to Guildford (and that's too far to go just to fill a hottie [f'narr] or deliver some ice cream) but she seems to have been replaced by a new "spouse" already. Emily and I spent Sunday afternoon viewing flats, shopping in Ikea and trailing around Sainsbury's for a weekly shop. Sigh. We didn't bicker or argue and nobody stomped off in a huff or insulted the other one's family though so I guess we can't be that much of a married couple - I'm still going to petition for custody of the tripod cat on holidays and weekends though ;o)

On Sunday evening we went to see Venus, which I'm particularly pleased about because it seems to be one of the ones that Cineworld only shows for about a week. They always do that with the ones I want to see. Bah. Anyhoo, it's currently sharing screen 13 (the posh one) with The Fountain (remember that??) so I doubt it'll still be playing after Thursday. This is the story of a 70-something actor and his unlikely friendship/romance with his friend's teenage grand-niece and I have to say I really liked this film. Some people will undoubtedly find the subject of an old man lusting after a young girl unsavoury but it's not all that bad and they really should give it a chance. The characters are so well done that you can't help but feel sympathy for O'Toole and excuse his lecherousness to a certain extent. He was obviously a virile man who now has one foot in the grave and the other one isn't far behind, why the Hell should he behave himself? The 'ick' factor is also tempered by the fact that he usually gets kicked in the nuts or slapped whenever he tries anything on. The character of Jessie, or 'Venus' is just as unlikeable as a lecherous old man to begin with. She's rude, uncommunicative and sloppy but as you understand more of her back story she does start to grow on you, and as her friendship with Maurice grows she becomes less hideous. This film does make uncomfortable viewing because you're reminded that older people don't just quietly and gracefully retire from life and dodder off into a world of biscuits and countdown. They swear, they have lustful feelings, they get bored and fed up just like the rest of us - but they're further impeded by just being plain old and things not working as well as they used to. No wonder we try and ignore older people - we're scared witless of ending up like that! Yikes!

Anyway, it's a bloody good film and it's given me an excuse to post a picture of the youthful and beautiful Peter O'Toole. When the light hits him in a certain way he's almost handsome.... *

* That's a quote from one of my favourite films - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059903/

It's Been 14 Weeks and Shoobeedooo Hours.....

...Since I started watching Buffy again and I finished the epic quest to watch all 7 seasons AND extras on Monday night. Go me! I have to say I was a little underwhelmed by the extras, but this could be because I'm such a rabid fan and, really, I want commentaries on every single episode by the writers, actors and directors. Is that too much to ask?

Obviously it is because what I got was a commentary on about every 4th episode, mostly by the writers but sometimes by the director and in rare cases a couple of the actors (Yay! Tom Lenk!). The commentary on one episode in particular was very dull. I can't even remember which episode it was but they'd wheeled in the Assistant Director or something and he kept going on about lighting and camera angles in quite a monotone voice. Yawn! Some of the episodes you'd expect to have commentaries didn't have one and there was a distinct lack of blooper reels (2 blooper reels from 7 series - 25% of which where Nick Brendon fluffing his lines? Rip off!) Still, after watching a few of the commentaries you could start to imagine what some of the writers at least would say.

There was also not enough James Marsters for my liking. I think that makes the gratuitous nuddy shot above quite justified though. Mmmm, nuddy shot....

Right, where was I? Oh yes, Buffy extras. Apparently there are outtakes of the bit in 'Smashed' where Buffy and Spike get it on posted on You Tube. I must go have a look for them....

Ooh, there's a lot of Buffy bloopers on there. I'll have to check them out sometime. Here's a link to the 'Morning After' bloopers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQVh2OMCqNo

I'll be moving on to my loverly Angel box set soon. Hurrah! I will dampen down my expectations of the extras though. I haven't watched Angel in so long this is going to be gooooood. Apart from Connor. I'll still be rooting for the whiny little twat to get minced. I love it when stuff hits him!!

Blackadder, Bad Trips and Balderdash

I was in the pub on Friday evening for Zoe's work leaving drinks. We were in the Holyrood Tavern, which I haven't been in for about 4 years, and on that last occasion it was the Edinburgh Festival and I can't remember much about it - yes, I was pished at the time. I do remember it being about 12:30am and the pub was heaving. I also remember seeing Simon Munnery (weird Festival 'comedian') sitting at the end of the bar, he was reading a newspaper... at half midnight in a pub. I remember thinking "What a tosser!" I later caught a bit of his very strange TV programme and was reassured that he did, in fact, seem to be a tosser. This time the bar was very quiet and civilised and pleasant, in a sticky tabled kind of way. At about 10pm the gathering repaired to Zoe's flat where one of her colleagues took a bit of a shine to me, and not in a good way. The colleague in question was a 40-something lady who kept hugging and kissing me. That has a sobering effect on one, I can tell you! She was a very affable drunk, just a bit... What's the word? Slobbery. Oh well, I later found out the poor woman had to work the next day so all my sympathies go out to her.

On Saturday evening Zoe and I had access to Byron's huuawge store of televisual entertainment. Oh joy! He actually has the pilot episode of The Blackadder which, despite being a huge and almost rabid Blackadder fan, I had never seen. Zoe kindly agreed to watch it with me and it was verreeee interestinck. It's basically the episode of The Blackadder where a aspersions are cast on the lineage of Edmond's brother, the heir to the throne, but in Elizabethan Blackadder the 2nd costumes. Oh, and Baldrick isn't as funny - Tony Robinson must have been born to play that part! Edmond is also the smarmy Blackadder of the second series and not the little slimy Edmond that he became in the first one. It still made me laugh out lound though, and there's a lot more slapstick in it. I'd be interested to find out why they changed from the smarmy Blackadder to the toady one, but then I'm a big freaky nerd that way ;o)

After that we watched a very interesting programme about LSD. I've never taken it myself and, after watching this programme, still have absolutely no desire to but it's one of those things (like killer bees) that makes you marvel and what dumb-asses human beings can be sometimes. Killer bees got loose on the American continent because the scientists studying them left a temp in charge when they all went on holiday and LSD seems to have got rife in the 1960's because the CIA decided to run clinical trials on students. D'oh!! Still, at least the students volunteered. This programme said there was evidence that the CIA dosed unwitting members of the public with it, basically to see what happened and if it could be used as a weapon. Evil. Evil. Evil.

Included in the programme was footage of an experiment that the BBC ran where they filmed a subject while he took a trip. This was not some crusty student they had scraped up, this was a smartly suited BBC presenter who took the drug in his drawing room. It ended up looking like something from Harry Einfield's Mr Chomondley-Warner series but the chap on the trip seemed to be having a marvelous time. He completely lost any 'normal' perception of time and would phase in and out of conversations. At one point he said he simply didn't have the vocabulary to explain what he was experiencing. This seemed to be a common theme with people on acid...

Which brings me to the movie I went to see on Sunday afternoon - The Fountain. I think this movie was on acid, or I wish I'd taken something before going to see it! I say it was on acid because it seemed to want to articulate something very profound but lacked the vocabulary and what came out was pretty incoherent balderdash. Talking of pretty though, baldy star-man Hugh Jackman in his little kung-fu pyjamas was quite pretty - when you weren't sniggering at how ridiculously pretentious those bits of the movie were! (See really bad photo above).

So Hugh Jackman's a surgeon married to a lady with a brain tumour, who's also the (quite barmy in my opinion) queen of Spain and he's also a hairy conquistador, but yet he's a baldy dude in little jammies doing tai chi in the stars and she's a tree... Or something.

I read a review on the IMDB about this one and I wonder what movie that guy went to see. Tellingly, he says a lot about the cinematography and the score but very, very little about the actual content or themes of the film. See above RE incoherent balderdash.

I hate to say it, but I may end up having a soft spot for this film just because it is so bad. So it's official - I'm sometimes a cinematic masochist. The review on the BBC website said it was "...rampant metaphysical codswallop" and I was practically sprinting to the cinema. I only have myself to blame. I'd go with meandering esoteric haddock slap myself though.