Still here... Just about!

Hiya folks

Sorry I haven't updated for a while, I just don't seem to have managed to make the time. Since the power cut I've taken to reading more while at home (laptop gathering dust) and I've been in a constant state of annoyance at work recently which seems to take up all my time and energy. Gah! Workin' nine to five - what a way to make a living indeed!

What've I been up to? I went to the Bombay Sapphire Glass House exhibition and learnt all sorts of interesting stuff about yummy gin, that was definitely the highlight of last week. I must dig out some interesting facts and figures for my fans but I'll let you know right now that I thought the Tom Collins was the yummiest cocktail on offer at the event. Mmm... gin....

The old landline got installed as well but I'm currently in a massive huff with BT so I won't go into that. Gah! Effers! The lot of them. Hope they rot in their own excrement!

Calm. Deep breaths.... Look at the ocean lapping on the shores of Marj Island. Check that serenity*...

That's better. I think a Tom Collins courtesy of Juan will sort everything out. I'll just go and see where he's got to.....

*A shiny sixpence to whoever can name that movie.

Better to light a candle than curse Scottish Power? Ask Blow-up Doll Bruce!

So I was sitting on the couch last Tuesday evening, quietly degesting my dinner and ogling the goggle box. It's not a common occurence for me to be at home watching telly on a Tuesday evening and now I know why - there's nothing on! I do believe I was watching one of those shows about people trying to buy houses. Ugh, reality TV. What evil dick thought of that concept? Anyway, I was saved from the tedium by the TV suddenly going 'pop' and switching off. "Hunh," thought I "another power cut." There had been a thunder storm the week before which I think effected the electrics because my alarm clock had reset itself while I was out. I settled down with the new Jasper Fford book to wait for the electricity to come back on. It had been a while and I was starting to wonder if it was just me but I had to pop out to the shop and all the lights were off there as well so I was reassured. I went back to Jasper Fford and lit candles when the sun went down.

The next morning I still had no power so I phoned the Scottish Power emergency line and after telling it my address and postcode (I'm SO dubious of that technology!) the automated message lady told me they were aware of a fault in my area. This was after waking up with the horrible realisation that I have an electric shower in my flat. Waily! Blithely accepting that Scottish Power had everything in hand I packed a towel and some shampoo and toddled off to work. The shower at work isn't great but it was better than no wash at all so I could get on with my day without feeling too greasy and smelly. I phoned for regular updates throughout the day and at half past four in the afternoon was told that everyone's power was back on, except one customer who had agreed to have it kept off in the meantime.

However, when I got home it soon became apparent that I still did not have any power. When I phoned Scottish Power back the silly lassie on the line actually suggested I was the one that had agreed to have my power kept off. If that was the case why the Hell would I be phoning to complain??? Gah! Anyhoo, they said they'd log the fault and an engineer would contact me. Did they? Did they doodah! I probably should have phoned back earlier than I did but I was hacked off and went to Zoe's for sustenance and electric lighting. The upshot was that when I got home at about 11pm I still had no power. That was when I discovered that my supply of tea lights had been tidied and I had no idea where they were so the Bruce Lee candle that Barney gave me for Xmas a few years ago was finally lit. It's had a good run as The Most Tacktastic Piece of Tat I've Ever Been Given but finally it was useful!

Once I'd set fire to Bruce Lee's head I took a deep breath and called Scottish Power again. The lassie who answered my call sounded about 15 years old and had the customer service skills of a 15 year old too. She was so unhelpful that I ended up hanging up on her in tears. Although to give Scottish Power their due, they phoned me back 3 minutes later to say there was an engineer in the area who would pop in and have a look at it for me. Apparently you don't often get this kind of service - but I don't see why not after over 24 hours with no electricity, especially seeing as everyone in the call centre seemed to be utterly clueless.

So the engineer came up and poked around and wandered about. Unfortunately he couldn't do anything about the power being off without access to the basement of the building, which is storerooms for the University. At least it put my mind at rest that it wasn't just me being a spakker or due to my refusing to risk life and limb balancing on a chair in the pitch black in a flat on my own to flick some switch which I'd flicked earlier that day to no effect. Apparently the University had agreed to have the power kept off down there in the meantime but I think the whole rest of the stair was cut off as well. Nobody else had complained but the Scottish Power engineer said he thought he saw candles in the flat next door to me as well. This could just have been my Italian gigolo neighbour entertaining a young lady though.

I eventually got power back on Thursday morning, in time to shower before work, but the stair lights are still out - almost a week later. I suppose I'll have to phone and complain about that too but I keep forgetting to note down the number for stair lighting complaints. In the meantime I'm carrying a torch about in my handbag. Sigh.


Oh, and PS
http://www.jasperfforde.com/
:oD

Mr David Keanrick and Mr Enoch Mossop present A Midsummer Night's Dream

I went to see A Midsummer Night's Dream in Princes Street Gardens at the first (and possibly last!) Edinburgh Shakespeare festival last Wednesday evening. Open air theatre is a lovely idea but not really for Scotland and not really for the Ross Bandstand. The weather was very weird all day last Wednesday for a start. It was overcast in the morning, then there was a heatwave at lunch time and by 5pm it was overcast again. Now, that doesn't sound all that strange for Scotland but it goes to show how unpredictable the weather can be. I had packed my cagoule just in case but in the end it didn't rain during the performance. The bloke 4 rows in front of us that got shat on by a dive-bombing seagull possibly wished he'd packed his cagoule though!

The other thing that I don't think the organisers of the event took into account was that the main railway line north out of Waverley station runs right at the back of the gardens and the Edinburgh - Glasgow shuttle goes by every 15 minutes. The London train was worse because, though it runs less frequently, it is longer and seemed to scrape the tracks a whole heck of a lot more. So the poor actors were having to contend with the noise of passing trains, the traffic on Princes Street and the odd passing ned shouting incoherent abuse (in that way that they do). For the most part they coped admirably, except for Hypolita/Titania - you couldn't hear a blinking word she said. We all agreed we recognised her from television so she's probably not as used to projecting.

So, apart from the iffy weather and the noise pollution, how was the show? Not too shabby actually. I was thinking that the noise was unfortunate seeing as so much of Shakespeare is in the language but we all laughed in the right places and that play does allow for a lot of physical comedy. One of the things that made me chuckle the most, though probably unintentionally on the part of the actor, was Oberon's acting. It reminded me of that episode of Blackadder the Third when George is being taught to act by messers Keanrick and Mossop. He basically stood with his legs as far apart as possible and shouted. Helena also seemed to have been at this acting school, and there was more than a little whiff of 'Bob' about her too. She didn't actually slap her thigh at any point but I suspect she was supressing the urge. I think my giggling at Helena and Oberon confused Zoe no end and made her worry she was missing something.

On the whole I enjoyed it but my ass was numb by the end. That's due to the chairs though and not the quality of the production. It's reminded me how much I enjoy the bard and got me more excited about the Festival. They're doing Romeo & Juliet and Cymbeline in the Botanic Gardens this year and I must, must, must go! I can't remember why I missed A Winter's Tale last year but I suspect it was either due to laziness or a hangover. D'oh!

Do Not Resist Hypno-Kitty

I had to pay homage to the fantastic mug that Kirsi got me for my birthday. It's a magnificent mug and the big, blue eyes of the moggy theron seem to urge you to drink more tea....

It was a Godsend on Saturday when I inexplicably woke up at half six in the morning. I managed to lie in bed for another hour but then I was flipping well wide awake so I got up. I haven't seen half seven on a Saturday morning since I worked full time in Tesco, it was very weird. I tried texting Bruce to get revenge for the previous week, and the text that had awoken me from a drunken stupor on the couch at 2:30am. It didn't work, he replied a few hours later extolling the wonders of silent mode. Bah! Anyhoo, Hypno-Kitty kept me company for the next few hours with gallons and gallons of lovely tea. Hoorah for Hypno-Kitty!

On Saturday evening I dragged my ass out to Hannah's flat warming, fully expecting to be face down snoring in the potato salad before midnight. And guess what? Yep, I didn't end up leaving until 5am. What? How did that happen? I guess we just spend the whole evening gassing away, after all the middle aged teachers from Dunfermline left. Oooh, they were scary. I wasn't feeling particularly sociable and hadn't had a drop of Dutch courage to fortify me so I didn't really know how to interact with them. They all seemed lovely though and Hannah had lots of good things to say about them.

Anyhoo, at 5am Barney, Cat and I decided to walk home because it was light outside and we were all feeling in need of some fresh air. The walk was quite uneventful until I left my companions at the bottom of North Bridge. Between the bottom of NB and home I met a drag queen/transvestite (I'm a little hazy on the distinction - sorry), was offered a toke on a dooby and finally managed to wake Bruceyboy up with a drunken text. Sweeeeet! Revenge is mine! Mwah hah hah hah hah!

Last week I are mostly was having a birthday.

It was my birthday precioussssss. Last Saturday (24th June) to be precise, and it was a good day. I had started the celebrations early with a drink or twelve on Thursday evening with a few esteemed colleagues. Needless to say, I felt rough as feck on Friday. Bleeurgh. I made it through most of the working day with the judicious application of coffee and carbohydrates until I could decently crawl back to the pit from whence I came. A few hours later I was soothing the pain with dinner at Phenecia with Helen and Emily. The hummus there is surprisingly good for hangovers by the way, or maybe that’s just because it’s yummylicious at any time?

My first birthday greeting on the big day itself came in the form of a text from Bruce, at freaking half past seven in the morning! My text alert at the moment is a sound clip of Podge and Rodge so I was woken by a screech of “Are ye making the teeeeeeeeeeee?” I suppose I have nobody to blame but myself for that. Bah. The upside is that I got to spend the rest of the morning blissfully drifting in and out of sleep and really spending some quality time appreciating the wonderfulness of my bed. Mmmmm! (Oh, and if you’re worried about Mr Hadden it’s ok kids – he was on his way to bed, not getting up.)

After an afternoon of pottering and lazing about I went out for dinner again. Well, it was my birthday :oD

As I couldn’t get booked into Phenecia this year (I’d been meaning to book for weeks but hadn’t got round to it. Curses!) so I picked another interesting-sounding BYO in the area – Fenwick’s on Salisbury Place. The List Guide review appeared favourable, citing it as a favourite haunt of the fictional detective, Inspector Rebus. “Well,” I thought “if it’s good enough for a fictional character then it must be good enough for me!” Another odd thing about the review was that the minus point listed was that the bread was a tad tedious. If that was the worst thing they could think of to comment on then that seemed promising.

The staff were very friendly but the chairs were a little too high, or the table a little too low, and our starters took a noticeably long time to arrive. When they did they were a little underwhelming and the bread (that we had to ask for) was, indeed tedious. The main courses and desserts more than made up for these deficiencies though. I had pan-fried duck breast with roast parsnips on a bed of balsamic vinegary puy lentils. That duck breast was gorgeous! It was moist and slightly pink in the middle and utterly delicious. The red berries crème brulee that I had for dessert was absolutely beautiful as well, though I did fancy the champagne jelly with melon accompanied by blackcurrant sorbet. I think the fact that nobody offered anyone else a taste of their pudding is testament to how darn tasty it all was. By the end of the meal everyone seemed impressed with the place and any restaurant that has jelly and ice cream on the menu is ok in my book.

Then it was back to Marj Towers for drinkiepoos and intelligent conversation… well drinkiepoos anyway. We had a fine old time but, fear not gentle reader, it didn’t get too out of hand. That bottle of Absinthe remains, untouched and dusty, upon the fridge still. Mind you, how different things might have been if Barney hadn’t been on call that evening...

Burgertastic Baby!…And also BBQlicious beeyatch!

Summary of weekend: Marj stuffs her face :o)

The weekend was kicked off in fine style on Friday evening with a slap-up feed from the Jasmine in the good company of Cat, Rachel and Ruth. Such a feast we had! That place really is the mutt’s nuts by the way. Oh! The prawn crackers! So thick and crunchy. Mmmm. *drools* I’m getting a bit wussy in my old age and all that good food and, of course, wine had me yawning my head off and almost falling asleep by about 11pm. Or that could have been a result of the emotional trauma of being forced to watch Big Brother for the first time this year. Gah! Who let those awful people on telly?? It’s flipping painful to watch is what it is. I am really of the opinion that they should just make the BB house as close to Winston’s world as possible and feed them with nasty gin and fags that fall to bits. Now that I would watch!

During this ordeal I received a couple of texts from Naomi in Brataslava and I’m hard pressed to judge which of us was witnessing more horror. Poor Naomi, supposedly relaxing on holiday, was having a surreal time in “a huge metal shed (exhibition hall) watching dodgy 80s pop acts who Graham is all excited about and who I’ve never heard of.” About an hour later I was informed that they were now “listening to Sam Fox attempt to sing Touch Me very, very badly.” I was assured that it was very painful and I did not wish I was there at all. I regarded the caterwauling cretins on the tellybox attempt to backstab and shag each other I thought to myself “Don’t be too sure of that dolly!”

On Saturday morning I woke up at about ten past eight and thought “Feck! Feck! Feck! Have I slept in? Why didn’t the alarm go off? Oh my God! Am I going to be late again? Fuuuuuuuuck!” Then I realised it was Saturday, allowed myself a small “Woo hoo!” and went back to sleep.

The weather on Saturday was hot and sticky and yuck. I had to gnash from Fopp in Rose Street to the one in Cockburn Street in order to pick up Kelly’s birthday present and by the time I got there I was not a pretty sight. Eeeeeeeeuw! I don’t do humid. Luckily I didn’t have to do too much moving about that evening as we were at Kelly and Andy’s new house for her birthday BBQ. A proper house with a garden you can char meat in – how groan up they seem! I’m sure it’s all a front though ;oP

After we had stuffed ourselves silly with charred meat and things on sticks (hoorah for things on sticks! Pineapple, lamb, tofu, mushrooms, etc…. though not all on the same stick…) we adjourned to the living room where some damn fool got out the Giant Jenga set. Jenga freaks me out by the way, I just can’t handle it. It dates back to an unfortunate incident of combustible over-indulgence in my younger days. *shudder* I can watch people play it now but I’d still rather not join in myself. I think my fear is quite justified when you get to the silly arena of Giant Jenga. We were discussing if your work would buy it if you phoned in sick with Giant Jenga concussion and I’m sure many people have already. Those blocks look lethal.

On Sunday a BT contingent headed out to Tantallon for more BBQ fun, despite the lovely Scottish weather – i.e. it was pissing down. At least it meant the beach was quiet. We had a bit of a fiasco trying to get there as we had a convoy of 5 cars and only a vague notion of where we were going. We got there in the end though, after blocking the harbour at North Berwick – oops! Ali had brought a gazebo which took about 6 of us to erect but once it was up it did the job a treat. In no time we had the disposable barbies fired up and various yummy foodstuffs were cooking away. I even went for a paddle in the sea – and laughed at the wussy Ozzie and Italian who got as far as dipping a toe in and then running away. That’ll be the Celtic blood and lard insulation :oD On the whole, despite the precipitation, the day was hailed by all as a great success and I hope we do it again soon.

Marj's Movie Reviews

This episode:
Everything Is Illuminated *** (Worth a look)
Guy X * (Pish!)
Thumbsucker **** (Well worth a look)
South Pacific *** (a classic and who am I to argue? Much...)

I've had quite a movietastic weekend and thanks to Naomi, a bottle of plonk and Vogue Video. I spent Saturday afternoon supping Magners and scoffing goats cheese in the sun with Mandy and Emily (That place that used to be the Dutch House and is now a cafe type place: Huuuuawge sharing platters of yummy commestibles for £8.50 by the way. Bargainous and delicious - I'll definitely be going back!) I met up with Naomi later on and, after all that sun and booooze, an evening of cinematic entertainment seemed just the ticket. I think I've got mild sunburn on my ears anyway so it's probably for the best we decided not so stay out in the sun much longer. I like pink but not that special pink that my face goes when Mr Sun has bit my bum, so to speak. I look like a fecking eejit!

Anyhoo, rant over. To the movies!

Everything is Illuminated is about the grandson of a Jewish immigrant from the Ukraine who fled from the Nazis to America in WW2. The earnest and bespectacled grandson sets out to find the woman who helped his grandfather with only an old photo and the name of a village to help him. I really liked this film for many reasons, which I won't say too much about because I was delightfully surprised by it and I wouldn't want to spoil that for you. I will say that the soundtrack is ace and I'd like to borrow it from Laura Pie please. Thank you very much ta :o)

Guy X, on the other hand, I was disappointed by. The cover was promising. The tagline was "There's been a f*ck up", it was hailed as a brilliant black comedy and a comparison to Catch 22 was made. All this made it seem like this would be an interesting and intelligent movie with a lot to offer. Unfortunately it wasn't. I'm afraid to say it barely kept my attention, and it only did because I felt sure it was going to go somewhere any minute and I wanted to see where that was cos, boy, it had better be good. The plot is that Jason Biggs,the dude who shagged the pie, is dropped on an army base in Greenland and immediately eaten by local insects. Boy, do I sympathise! When he comes to in the base hospital everyone is calling him by someone else's name and refuses to believe him when he tells them he was supposed to be in Hawaii. It goes on from there... Madness and boredom of isolated army life, bit of a love story, sinister cover-up, yadda yadda yadda...After watching this film I had a vague feeling that I'd missed the point of it and that annoyed me. I had that feeling after watching Jarhead as well (though I think I may have worked out what that movie's about - 2 months later!!!). It's like when someone gets to the end of an anecdote and looks like they are expecting you to go "Ho ho ho. That's so funny!" and all you are thinking is "Oh. Is that the end of the story? I don't get it..." Oooh, I do hate that in a movie!

Hooray for us keeping Thumbsucker for last! I put this one in the DVD player with a heavy heart because I felt that this one could go either way, thoughtful and enjoyable indie treat or tedious load of self-indulgent old waffle. I'm happy to say it turned out to be the first one - hoorah! And it had Kanoonie Reeves in it, as Ted Theodore Logan, all growed up and practicing dentistry. Woah, dude! This one is about a 17 year-old who still sucks his thumb and lives in suburbia. This guy really wants to stop sucking his thumb but it's how he copes with the normal horribleness of adolescence, middle-class white suburban family life and all that guff. He eventually gets prescribed Ritalin and the film deals with how that effects his life. Considering how many kids you hear are on this stuff in the States I'm glad they made this film and I hope a lot of people see it. Horrible stuff! The behind-the-scenes documentary in the extras is well worth a look.

I'm currently halfway through South Pacific and enjoying it immensely. Good old Rodgers & Hammerstein. It's big, it's bold and it's bloody silly in some places. South Pacific right? Polynesia, Japan, all that good stuff? How comes then, the famous Boar's Tooth Ceremony looks like something from tribal Africa and all the polynesians look suspiciously like tribal Africans as well? I can just imagine some big studio boss chomping on a cigar and saying "Ah what the Hell, nobody'll notice anyway. The public are dumb!" and some poor director weeping into his megaphone. It's getting exciting though. It's all gone to poo now and our 2 dashing and handsome leading men are heading off to a mission that could entail certain death because they've cocked up relations with their respective honeys...

And now I've just finished it. Cor, that was a good 'un. Still kinda silly in bits. When they're stalking around the island spying on the Japanese they have companions that are supposed to be local fishermen friends of the French dude. You guessed it... They look suspiciously like African tribesmen. Now, geography was never my best subject, once it got past colouring in maps I kind of lost interest, so if I'm overlooking a part of the population of the South Pacific please correct me. It's just all the local ladies in the film look, well, from the Pacific area at least. Hooray for Hollywood!

Words, words, words...

I've been reading a lot lately - Hoorah! I just finished Flying Dutch by Tom Holt and enjoyed it immensely. The the story is about the Flying Dutchman (no surprises there), a cat, an alchemist, an accountant and a life insurance policy. It was extremely well written and hugely entertaining. I'd totally recommend it. Thanks for lending me it Kirsi, I'm not sure I want to give it back ;o)

The other book I'm excited about this week is Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. I've only read what adds up to about 2 books by this author but I think he's superb. Let me explain - I've read Good Omens which he co-wrote with Terry Pratchett (so that's about half a book), Stardust and half of Anansi Boys. I was lent Stardust a few weeks ago by Louise and wasn't quite sure what to expect out of it. It's a lovely book though, a charming and entertaining fairy story for groan-ups. Much like Dianna Wynne-Jones (the 2 I have read) but with more sex and swearing (woo hoo!)

Anansi boys is about the sons of Anansi, the trickster spider god. I don't really want to say much more than that, except that it had me absolutely guffawing out loud in the first chapter. Where's that bit I wanted to share?...

"Spider kept himself amused. That was what he did. That was the important bit. He would not have recognised guilt if he'd had an illustrated guide to it, with all the component parts clearly labelled. It was not that he was feckless - more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck."

Heh heh heh. Just a wee example of the gems that this book contains. Just as I pulled it out the carrier bag and confessed to Louise that I'd naughtily detoured through Fopp on my way home she told me she was about to recommend it to me as she is reading it too. Coincidence? Hmm, who knows? Maybe I've been reading too much Gaiman to answer that one? Alls I know is it's one to take note of. I don't know why it's been published with 2 covers though, hopefully they don't have alternate endings or something!

Oh and P.S. Woo hoo! Friday! Yippeee!

Our last, best hope for entertainment.....

Well, not quite. Joss Whedon's still going after all but nevertheless - Yay! Kirsi and I have started watching season 5 of Babylon 5 at last. We gave ourselves a good long break in which we worked our way through, among other things, 4 seasons of Alias, Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere, Hex season 1, The 10th Kingdom, Lost season 1 and even.... Resident Evil - the movie (ho ho ho, what utter balderdash!). Why leave it so long? I hear you ask. Simply because, compared to the rest of Babylon 5, the last series is completer and utter kack. How can you go from "GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR GALAXY!" to some wally with Timotei perfect hair who has an annoying habit of looking winsome and quoting Hamlet unmercilessly? I swear if he does it once more I'm putting my foot through the telly! I just hope we're at Kirsi's house that week ;o)

Despite the hirsute ponce it's still most definitely a very fine dose of sci-fi though, and we still have dear old G'kar (pictured above with his hetero-life partner/nemesis Londo). I remember how brilliant the first 4 series were and we're definitely going to have to watch them again now that I know what's going on and Kirsi won't have to suppress herself every time something seemingly insignificant, but with later huuuge consequences, happens. Mmmmm, plot-arclicious baby!

The rest of the weekend just past was fairly quiet. After a traumatic experience with Orange (forkwits! The lot of them!!) on Friday I had a couple of quiet drinks after work and then went home to slump on the couch with Louise and Craig. On Saturday I slept until I woke up and when I woke up there was a girl meets boy/girl hates boy/boy and girl get friendly/girl gets all stroppy and hates boy/girl and boy fall in love type movie on ITV that just sucked me in to a movie bonanza. I followed Cutting Edge (for that was the name of the movie) up with Strictly Ballroom, How to Steal a Million and What's New Pussycat? Nice! It looked sunny outside but I was quite happy where I was. On Sunday I went to see Wah Wah, Richard E. Grant's movie about his childhood in Swaziland. I enjoyed it. I'm never sure what to make of these movies that are about actual people but he had the cream of British acting talent in there and the script made me laugh and cry so it was ok in my book.

And now it's Monday and that totally sucks boaby by the way. Harumph! How long until Friday?

What do you mean "Which one's the cow?"

What a pleasant weekend I had. On Friday night I went to a quiz in aid of MacMillan Cancer Research with Kirsty. We didn't win but we didn't come last either so that was good enough, seeing as the questions were HARD. The evening ended in fine style with Kirsty and I drunkenly putting the world to rights from the comfort of my sofa before she toddled off home and I dozed off on the couch...

Luckily I'd been drinking water so I wasn't utterly minging when I had to go out and meet my dear mama the next afternoon. We went to see Alan Borthwick and Friends doing a selection of Gilbert & Sullivan favourites at St Andrew's & St. George's church. They're a great bunch but they do get carried away sometimes! The first half of the concert was over an hour long and by the end of it our poor bums were complaining. We weren't sitting in the pews but the hard chairs we did have were unmerciful on the derriere. I persuaded mama that a cup of coffee in the Portrait Gallery would be preferable to subjecting ourselves to those chairs for a moment longer and off we trotted. Then I went and spent too much money in HMV. Whooops! Saturday evening was spent in the flat, not spending any more money thank you so very much!

On Sunday I took advantage of Cat's ASVA (Association of Scottish Visitor Attractions) passes to get Naomi and I in to Dynamic Earth for free. There were some rather splendid cows outside and above is a picture of me with my favourite from that herd. Close up he's glittery - Pwetty!

Dynamic Earth was ok, but I would have grudged paying to get in. It's one of those places that seems to be enhanced by the audio guide that costs a fiver on top of the £8.95 you just paid for the privilege of entry. Gah! It's true, the Scots really do try and rip off the tourists for every penny. No wonder they have to try and work so hard to flog holidays in Scotland to Scottish people!

On Sunday evening I went to Glasgow with Nat to see The Editors at the Carling Academy. They were really good and I quite enjoyed the support band who were on right before them - unfortunately I have no idea what that band were called. I must try and remember to find out...

That was the first gig I'd been to since the smoking ban and the variety of aromas that I encountered was... interesting to say the least. To start with there was a prevalent odour of Heinz baked beans for some reason. This was later replaced with farts, stale beer, dope (I swear I smelt that!), Nat's deodorant from her spraying it on the massive inconsiderate barsteward standing in front of us and, most unpleasant of all, a faint tang of vomit - nice! That's much better than cigarette smoke isn't it?

We got back quite late on Sunday evening so instead of rushing out to take more advantage of the ASVA passes on the bank holiday Monday I did my laundry, went to Tesco and read a book. Ah nice :o)

Ralph Lauren eat your.... dinner!

I'm quite pleased with myself today. I'm wearing a shirt that I adjusted to fit better around the waist area, with my own two hands! Jane showed me how to take in a shirt at dressmaking last night and it was a piece of cake... or it seemed that way anyway. I cocked up the stitching a little but it's because I wanted to finish it in class and was in a hurry... honest! We'll see how Zoe and I get on without Jane's guidance. Zoe still may manage to sew her earlobe to her elbow (sorry darling but I'm sure after 20-odd weeks of classes you're well past that point. Hey, you took in a Ralph Lauren skirt and it looks soopah sweetie.) I'm confident that I should be able to do it again but I'll practice on my old shirts before I wade in and start on new ones. Thank heavens for H&M and their cheapo shirts!

I also had a massive binge of The Maxx (see pic) when I got home last night. Thanks go to Byron for providing me with the DVD, completely unsolicited. Nice one dude! You rool :o)

The Maxx is an animated series about a dude in a purple suit and a mask. In this world he's a hobo who lives in a box and hangs around with Julie, the freelance social worker. He also inhabits the world of Pangaea though, and there he is a mighty hunter with Julie as his leopard queen. Sounds mad I know, and it is - in the best possible ways. I remember it being on MTV circa 1995 and it's great to be able to see it all because back in '95 you'd never know when it was going to be on and it was always a treat when you found it. I've got the last 2 episodes to watch, maybe this evening when I get in from the pub quiz. The whole thing may be explained, but then again maybe it won't. Excellent!

Crime helps you work, rest and play...

Article in the Metro this morning:
Twelve people were arrested in dawn raids yesterday over the theft of £65,000 worth of Mars bars. Detectives swooped on a dozen addresses after receiving information from bosses at the Masterfoods factory in Slough, Berkshire, which makes Mars bars. All 12 suspects were released on bail until July. The chocolate was stolen in two robberies on Tuesday and Wednesday.

The bosses tipped off the cops? I wonder if it was a bunch of disgruntled (and possibly stupid seeing as they got caught so quickly) employees?

Pub conversation taken too far?

Another Metro article today:
The age-old question:What came first, the chicken or the egg? has finally been solved. A geneticist, a philosopher and a chicken farmer claim it was the egg. They said it comes down to the fact that genetic material does not change during an animal's life. Therefore the first bird that evolved into what is now known as a chicken must have first existed as an embryo inside and egg, their report claimed.

Well done lads, more fodder for smartarses the world over. Sigh. What was the sound of one hand clapping again? At least it was Bart Simpson that answered that one...

What was all the fuss about?



I went to see the DaVinci Code yesterday. It wasn't as dire as I was expecting but I found it hard to be excited or thrilled by it because I've read the book. The most exciting bits were when the albino monk kept jumping out and grabbing the leading lady. Audrey Tatou was ok but her and Tom Hanks (so looks like a potato these days!) had absolutely no on-screen chemistry. I find this a blessing cos I can't stand Tom Hanks but one of the hilarious things about the book was how Robert Langdon was supposed to be this super-suave James Bond type, but an academic, and Sophie is basically supposed to be a Bond Girl. Ho hum. Angels and Demons was definitely better. I wonder if they'll make that movie? It's more an attack on the actual Vatican so maybe they won't? Or maybe it'll be ok cos it's the Catholics getting it in the neck? Who knows.... Ron Howard possibly?

The good news is that Jean Reno is still lovely. Hoorah!

(See above) Spot the difference....

I'm never drinking again... at least until lunch time...

So, Tuesday evening was another BT-funded drunk fest for Marj. I'm not sure I'll ever learn no to indulge when the booze is free, even though I spent all of Wednesday chundering. Luckily my manager was very understanding and didn't take the weewee out of me too much. He actually told me never to grow up and get sensible about such matters, so now I'm really looking forward to the Change Management Xmas party!

Anyhoo, the Metro today had an interesting little tidbit about Edgar Allan Poe that is alcohol related so I thought I'd do a little trawl for alcohol-related trivia for you. Enjoy!

Edgar Allan Poe
According to accounts at the time, the father of American Gothic literature was found in a tavern in a state of delirium on October 3rd, 1849, wearing clothes that were not his own. He was taken to a nearby hospital, where he died four days later aged 40 and was buried in an unmarked grave. On the night before his death, he apparently repeatedly called out the name Reynolds. Opinion at the time was that Poe had died an alcoholic. (From The Metro today)

From http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/index.html

As Magellan prepared to sail around the world in 1519, he spent more on Sherry than on weapons.

The U.S. Marines’ first recruiting station was in a bar.

Frederick the Great of Prussia tried to ban the consumption of coffee and demanded that the populace drink alcohol instead.

The national anthem of the US, the "Star-Spangled Banner," was written to the tune of a drinking song.

A raisin dropped into a glass of champagne will repeatedly bounce up and down between the top and the bottom of the glass. (You think this would work with Cava as well? Must try it.)

The corkscrew was invented in 1860.

The purpose of the indentation at the bottom of a wine bottle is to strengthen the structure of the bottle.

Methyphobia is fear of alcohol.

In ancient Babylon, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead (fermented honey beverage) he could drink for a month after the wedding. Because their calendar was lunar or moon-based, this period of free mead was called the "honey month," or what we now call the "honeymoon." (So it has nothing whatsoever to do with the groom seeing the bride's bum for the first time!)

In old England, a whistle was baked into the rim or handle of ceramic cups used by pub patrons. When they wanted a refill, they used the whistle to get service. So when people went drinking, they would "wet their whistle."

"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" is commonly believed to be the only English sentence devised to include all the letters of the alphabet. However, typesetters have another such sentence: "Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs." (F'narr f'narr!!)

There is a cloud of alcohol in outer space with enough alcohol to make four trillion-trillion drinks. It's free for the taking. . . but it's 10,000 light years away from Earth.

Wine has about the same number of calories as an equal amount of grape juice. (Whoopeee!)

Beer and Bras. British men have been found twice as likely to know the price of their beer as their partner's bra size. A poll reported in Britain's Prima magazine found that 77% of males knew how much their beer costs but only 38% knew the correct size of their mate's bra. (I was a 36F last time I checked, if anyone's interested...)

The average number of grapes it takes to make a bottle of wine is 600.

Adolf Hitler was one of the world's best known teetotalers or abstainers from alcohol; his adversary, Sir Winston Churchill, was one of the world's best known heavy drinkers.

Monday

Just another manic Monday? You betcha! The weather's pish and I managed to sleep in this morning. Two things did manage to raise a smile on my face on the way to wurk though. Once I had managed to catch the 5 bus (which goes all the way to my work without me having to change - bonus but I was already late and fed up by that point) the day brightened up when I saw the cows outside the Omni centre. For those of you not aware, there is a cow parade going on in Edinburgh at the moment.

http://edinburgh.cowparade.com/

I think I remember Hannah asking "Why cows???" (The extra question marks denote her tone - incredulous.) the other week. The only answer I can come up with is why not? Cows are pretty cool these days, and I think Robert Wiseman probably has something to do with that. Who can resist a cow playing keepy-uppy? I mean, really?

The other thing that cheered me up was "Friday I'm in Love" by The Cure playing on my MP3 thingmy. I love that song anyway and the paradox of listening to it on a Monday morning cheered me no end. Needless to say the warm fuzzy glow these 2 things gave me had dissipated by the time I got to the front door of the office. I think they vanished in a puff of grumpiness as soon as I stepped off the bus and got rained on. Harumph! It's not that far to the door from the bus stop but the rain demanded the umbrella be put up and then the wind demanded the umbrella blow about and get tangled in my hair. Harumph! Bloody weather... (see Terry Gilliam animation in MP and the Holy Grail for that ref.)

The weekend just past was spent mostly feeling poopy and full of snot. I had to forego Crombie's sausages and mash at Chez Duff on Friday night because I felt so rubbish. Waily! It was gorgeously sunny on Saturday but I shunned the sun and hung out with Zoe in her flat instead. We took a trip to Homebase and I bought myself a new house plant - a kinky ficus. Well, with that name on the pot? I just had to!

Kirsi and I had an Alias session on Saturday evening, but it wasn't all straightforward. Kirsi's copy of Alias 4 is a dodgy copy of a Spanish version, I think. Disk 4 was labelled disk 3 and vice versa. We watched the whole of disk 4 - admittedly with a few kind of "Eh? When did that happen? Oh well, whatever. I'm sure they'll explain it." moments. We didn't actually notice that the disks were mixed up until halfway through the second episode on disk 3. D'oh! I'm not sure if that's a good indication of the script writing on Alias or not. The plots have been so convoluted and they've played with the timeline in previous series so we just trusted it would all become clear in the end - which it did but not in the way expected. Again - D'oh!! Ah well, I don't think it'll have ruined the season finale in any way so we still have that to look forward to. Huzzah!

Later that very Thursday...

The weather turned kinda poopy again. Boo! I did go out for lunch in the sunshine though so I got a bit of photosynthesising done. Mmmm, chlorophylicious baby! (Dang, I hope I spelled all that ok!) Victoria decided to feed the birds, though it wasn't tuppence a bag I don't think. How much do morning rolls retail for these days? Gosh, swans are impressive close up... and persistent. One hung around hoping for more for quite a while. I wonder if it was the same one that pecked a seagull's head? Don't mess with the swans man!

The wind had got up a bit by home time and blown swathes of petals from the cherry blossom trees. It all looked so pretty, with the sun bringing out the warmth of the pink, that I wanted to try and get some pictures. By the time I'd scuttled up to the flat and grabbed the camera the sun had put its hat on and fecked off to the pub. Bumnuts! I did get this interesting photo though. It kind of looks like pink snow doncha think?

Thursday

Well, the weather is always perfect on Marj Island of course but in Edinburgh today the sun is shining away quite merrily. It's beeeyoootiful! Or it looks that way through the window anyway. I may be in danger of sunburn at lunchtime today. Goody!

Nat and I had a little picnic in Holyrood park yesterday evening. We were supposed to go to the cinema but it was far too lovely to be stuck in a dark room having to look at Tom Cruise (MI3 - I didn't pick the movie so was quite happy to miss it!). We had olives and salami and chorizo and bread and taramasalata and cheese. Yumsle! My top tip for picnics is that, if you forgot cutlery, a carrot stick can be used to smear taramasalata on sliced bloomer loaf to produce a delicious and fishy snack. The important thing is that you need to remember the carrot though ;o)

We also had a bottle of cava, a bottle of white wine and some fags. Hoorah! We covered the essentials then. The pished stagger home afterwards was so much fun!

I wonder if I could persuade anyone to drunken picnic this evening? Stay tuned to find out....

*letter from America*

Dear Juan

The Boston Blog is up and running.

http://bostonblog-marj.blogspot.com/

Check it out dude!

See you spoon.

Marj

Ah, it's a fine day here on Marj Island. The sun is shining, the waves are gently lapping the shore and here comes Juan up the beach with my Mai Tai. Super dooper.

I'm off on my holibags tomorrow. I think I may venture a small "Huzzah".

Huzzah.

Who am I kidding? Whooooopeeeeeee! Boston here I come!

*Marj cartwheels off down the beach, narrowly missing Juan who does a sterling job of keeping the precious Mai Tai safe*

Welcome to Marj Island. I hope you enjoy your visit.

In Hawaii lovely young ladies present you with flower garlands when you arrive. Here at Marj Island you are greeted with ...... kittens. Aaaaw!

Please make yourself at home. The beach is thataway...

*points thataway*